The Big Breakfast (Part 2)

Five or six weeks after my first appearance on The Big Breakfast, I was asked to go on again. The reason this time was that Fred was going to be a guest and they were going to line up five guys in G-strings and Fred had to pick out the streaker. I agreed and set off with a friend, Gary, the evening before I was due to go on. We had a few drinks on the train on the way down and arrived at our hotel around 22:00 in high spirits. We went straight to the restaurant for a meal and, I have to admit, were pretty loud, laughing and joking. As we were having our meal, Gary asked me what I was going to do when Fred picked me out of the line-up?  I told him that I was going to jump on him, pin him to the floor and start pumping! This caused the two of us to go into fits of laughter. Then, when I looked round, I saw Fred on the table next to us. There was no way that he could not have heard us, so I tried to defuse the situation by saying ''Hello''. He pretended that he didn't hear me the first couple of times, but turned around the third time of asking. After saying ''Hello'' back, I have never seen anyone finish off a meal so quickly in my life. Have you ever seen anyone eating rice pudding and chips at the same time? There was gravy in his hair, peas on his shoulder and he kept stabbing himself in the cheek with his fork! He left so quickly, there was a 'whooshing' sound as he went. This caused more fits of laughter from Gary and myself. We then finished our own meals and went to our room to get some sleep before our early morning call at 05:30.

After getting our early call, I received a call from The Big Breakfast telling me that I had been cancelled. When I asked if Fred was still going to be on, the lady told me that he wasn't and that we had been cancelled because there were too many items on the show that morning. I wasn't convinced and turned the TV on a while later, only to see Fred on the show! I can only assume that Fred bottled it and refused to go on if I was on with him. This did annoy me as Fred had an eating disorder and shouldn't have been on if he was poorly! When I realised that I couldn't do anything about being axed, (it would have been good TV if I had of been on, so it was their loss) I accepted it and went home.

Follow the story at Fred The Weatherman (Part 2).